Ocean Conversationalist T-Shirts

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Shark food pyramid.

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

"You can find me on Inkedin."

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

"Hey, do you want to be in my bubble?"

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."