Oceanic Author T-Shirts

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

A close shave on the Titanic...

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

Refueling at Sea: Library Ship

Fisherman tricks a visitor into thinking a huge buoy is a fishing float for giant fish.

A writer goes sailing.

"The source of all those mystery tweets."

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

Ship of fools.

"The truth is, humans aren’t smart enough to know how intelligent we are."

Financing Nemo

"What's that clicking sound?"

"You've still got, like, a solid eight inches."

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

Rainbow violin surfers

A patient's heart monitor reveals he is thinking about fish.

"I'm telling you...the more we hang-out on land, the sooner we can evolve into shark people."

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

Anchored Fish.

'How was your date?'

'Are you sure those are dolphins?'

'It's very sad really - all he seems to want is closure.'

'I joined the navy to see the world and I spent four years on a submarine!'

"Was it a good time? Yes. Was it a whale of a time? No."