Oceanic Philosopher Gifts

"I'm telling you...the more we hang-out on land, the sooner we can evolve into shark people."

"We start out as bottom fish and just seem to stay here."

Ship of fools.

'How was your date?'

"I think of eating them as a form of nonverbal communication."

"I don't get it -- what's so bad about a mortgage being under water?"

"Nation-building never works."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

reincarnated worm...

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

Goldfish bowl on raft...

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

A Poem about Sand

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"It ain't easy, Doc. There's a lot of pier pressure."

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

How Relaxing It Is To Go To The Beach. . . How Close You Live To The Beach.

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

Fish near-death experiences.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"IBM up 2 1/4, ATT down a 1/4,GM ... "

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

Fisherman get a good catch.

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'