Ocean Overlord Gifts

Bill's life coaching, helping you put the "Great" in Great White Shark.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

The Dubloon Stops Here

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

Lazy Octopus

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'I blame global warming!'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

A Preschool of Fish

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Shellfie

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Are we there yet?"

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'