Ocean Overlord Pillows

Bill's life coaching, helping you put the "Great" in Great White Shark.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Lazy Octopus

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'I blame global warming!'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

Shellfie

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

A Preschool of Fish

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

"Are we there yet?"

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

'This seashell does not sound like the ocean... It sounds like someone yelling 'Look out!''

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'