Ocean Lore Pillows

Mermaid Fish Dinner

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

Flying Dutchman

Mermaids

'Please give so we can find a cure for ALPOERQUINTERXY.'

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

'We're never going to lure them onto the rocks with you looking like that.'

"Do you mind?!"

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

'Half mushroom and half plankton!'

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

"It looks like we've moved way past condition red!"

'How to Remove Spots and Humps'

'We don't believe your story: a wolf would never attack a sheep.'

The two astronauts struggled for their lives while the whole world watched helplessly.

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

"I don't half fancy you. . .!"

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

And that's where mermaids came from.

'Here comes more cheap foreign honey.'

"Those symbols say that you can forget about the humans! We will be your true masters. Mark my words!"

"We mean you no harm. We're just here to observe how you primitive people are about to destroy yourselves with nuclear weapons."

A Pirate prisoner Fly about to walk off the plank into a bowl of Soup

"They'll be landing soon."

Rescuers Arrive too late at the Desert Island.

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

'Wow! Gruel twice in one week, IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS!'

"We can be yours, but you must agree to our terms and conditions."

"This turns our understanding of mermaids completely upside down."