Nautical Lore Pillows

'Wow! Gruel twice in one week, IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS!'

Flying Dutchman

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'It was this big. I swear'

"Call me, Ishmael."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

Contended beaver nurses a full stomach having eaten the captains wooden leg.

"Well, he was a lousy captain, but he sure knows how to go out in style!"

BARBER

'Pass the ketch up dear.'

"Same ship, different day."

So Lonely 'Twas (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

If only they'd taken it with them!

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

Pirate toilet.

"I don't half fancy you. . .!"

"Because the sea can be a cruel mistress."

Sea yarns.

'You didn't go down with shi-ip! You didn't go down with the shi-ip!'

Illustration for 'Foul Play', scene 2.

"They say those who follow the Great Rubber Duckie will ride safely through any storm!"

Rum Ration Daiquiris: 'We're spoiling them!'

"A plaster on yer knee, not much of a pirate, are we?"

Flying Dutchman

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

Rescuers Arrive too late at the Desert Island.

LOST AND FOUND, 'Maybe he flew south.'

'You insistence that women go first is sexist, patronising and offensive.'

Pirate using wooden leg to go fishing

'I'm getting too old for this pirate business, Tom.'

"We can be yours, but you must agree to our terms and conditions."

'I hope you realise that this could give us all a really bad name.'

Message in a bottle breaks on a rock.