Ocean Lore Gifts

Mermaid Fish Dinner

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

'I've told you time and again, if you didn't east so fast, you wouldn't swallow so much flotsam.'

Crop Circle: Meet the Author

Flying Dutchman

"How's it going with the human cloning?"

"Will thou not sayest 'Uncle'?"

'Please give so we can find a cure for ALPOERQUINTERXY.'

Mermaids

"I can't tell a lie, Samantha. I'm a two bird bloke."

'We're never going to lure them onto the rocks with you looking like that.'

"Do you mind?!"

Mermaid luring pirates to their death

'Half mushroom and half plankton!'

'Take the advice of an old sea dog, Lad. Never provoke a fight with the phrase, 'You want a piece of me?''

"Oh, awkward - my ex. . ."

'How to Remove Spots and Humps'

'We don't believe your story: a wolf would never attack a sheep.'

"It looks like we've moved way past condition red!"

"I don't half fancy you. . .!"

The two astronauts struggled for their lives while the whole world watched helplessly.

A castawy sees a ship comiing closer and is excited by the prospect of rescue - but the ship plows right through the middle of his island.

"We mean you no harm. We're just here to observe how you primitive people are about to destroy yourselves with nuclear weapons."

'Here comes more cheap foreign honey.'

"Those symbols say that you can forget about the humans! We will be your true masters. Mark my words!"

What? The night light helps me fall asleep.

And that's where mermaids came from.

Rescuers Arrive too late at the Desert Island.

"They'll be landing soon."

Old boatmen impressing children with made up stories about having been a smuggler

Vlad The Impala ...

A Pirate prisoner Fly about to walk off the plank into a bowl of Soup

'Wow! Gruel twice in one week, IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS!'

"We can be yours, but you must agree to our terms and conditions."

"This turns our understanding of mermaids completely upside down."