Obesity Observers Pillows

"How much do you want to lose?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Hey everybody, I've decided to stop doing landscape drawings, and start doing caricatures of my fellow passengers.'

"Hair spray"

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"I love people-watching."

Phrenological matrimonial bureau

"To the most beautiful girl in the world... Happy Valentine's Day!"

"No wonder he's so skinny - he eats like a bird."

'Why John, I remember you when you were this high.'

Signs that colas are making you fat. . .

"Bob was raised in the wilderness by salmon."

"Not so much fun being people-watched back, eh?"

'I eat plenty of fast food, but I just seem to be getting slower and slower!'

"You'll have to speak up. I'm very loud in here."

Camel Visits the Plastic Surgeon

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

Fat kids in football T-shirts, Rooney and Ronaldo. Man says: 'It's good for kids to have sport role models.'

'Alec does alright for a bloke with no chat lines!'

"I can still fit into my high-school kayak."

'You're obese.'

"I read in the paper that I'm fat and that you've got to sort it out!"

How does this sound? 'The generous pay award reflects the additional responsibilities, workload and stress of the Chief Executive's position.

"I guess you could say my life is boring. Last night I binge watched my husband's hair recede."

"If it's vegan, gluten-free and low-carb, then yes, Polly wants a cracker."

'Why do old people always hang around all day in bus shelters?'

"And it's diet-friendly, I get them to hold off on the sprinkles."

"Oh. Sorry for yelling. I thought you were much farther away."

'It's like going on a diet. You don't get fat overnight, so you can't expect to lose it all overnight.'

'Hey Lardo! You haven't weighed ourself for a week now.'

Why do I need a CAT scan? I just had a whole body scan at the airport, and the agent said everything was okay.