Fitness Observer Pillows

"I read in the paper that I'm fat and that you've got to sort it out!"

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"That shirt is so last year."

"I hate this time of year."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

Sadie, the way you objectify football players is unconscionable. It's what? All you talk about are their muscles, square jaws, animal intensity. Ooh. What? I live it when you get all puffed up and macho and tough. And what biceps. Much better. Well played. Girl does what she's got to.

"Good coffee."

Woman and sport trainer

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

'My Dad stays in shape watching other people exercise.'

Frog to frog: I went to a yoga class, but the instructor didn't know squat.

'No thanks: I'm more of a sprinter than a jogger...'

"Thank you for your input, but I think we can rule out anorexia."

"We now begin to notice that very few major modern writers have had big hair."

Next! (liposuction specialist)

"You're prediabetic. I can't help you unless you decide to eat less sugar - or more sugar."

'I eat plenty of fast food, but I just seem to be getting slower and slower!'

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

'It's just a summer complaint. You'll be as good as new by fall.'

'He loves all sports, he can sit and watch others do it all day.'

The Problem

"No, I'm not wearing a black sweater. My black cat sheds a lot."

'There, but for liposuction, go I.'

Boys looking at mannequins in a shop window

"I made a trial new year's resolution so I can test it out to see if it's something I can live with for a year.

Season Finale

Compass on Trainers

Fat kids in football T-shirts, Rooney and Ronaldo. Man says: 'It's good for kids to have sport role models.'

"Be honest, does my sacrum look big in this?"

Weight Reducing Clinic. Plan B, Sumo Wrestling Classes.