Nutrition Satire Seekers Gifts

'Wonderful, Ngok! Really great! What did the shaman tell you about stoneburgers and rock nuggets?'

"Two vegans, please."

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

The Official Covid-19 Diet

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"Turns out it was all water weight."

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

You are what you eat

Fat angel eating halo like doughnut

"There is some evidence that chocolate can be good for you... But the health benefits tend to fade after the first 20 kilos."

Try our AMAZING Soups!

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

'Well, we've probed and diagnosed you thoroughly and still have found nothing. Now Dr. Thompson here would like you to lie down in his office for a special 'hypochondria scan.''

Energy Drinks

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

"Feel free to imagine you might have any of the conditions you read about in the magazines."

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

'I hate it when they take the food pyramid, mix it all together and serve it in a trough!'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

Doctor's recommend a well balanced diet...

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

'And what did you model-mashed potatoes and gravy?'

"I put an olive in my beer and turn it into a health drink."

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

Mother Nature's Health Foods

Dental records help ID the body. That's how they know who to bill.