Nutrition Ninja Gifts

'It's very important to have balanced diet.'

Whole foods versus 'hole foods'.

"I can't have anything that's a food."

It Tastes So Bad It Must Be Good For You.

'We couldn't afford health care any longer so you better start eating better!'

'Mom, your diet says you can eat all the vegetables you want. Wow! A diet without vegetables!'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

"From a risk management point of view, Mummy must urge you to eat your spinach."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

Dieting Motivation.

Weight watchers 'Gone for low-calorie lunch'.

'Sure, other programs are cheaper. But let's not be penny-wise, pound-foolish.'

'Dr. Harris can't be much of a doctor. He hasn't written a book on weight loss or diets!'

'Your diet is to full of chemicals and artificial additives, I'll see what I can prescribe you to help.'

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

Your metabolism slows down as you get older. But time goes faster to make up for it. I have less energy these days, doc --- it was a lot easier pushing 50 than it is pulling it! You need to change your diet. There's more to "eating smart" than making sure somebody else picks up the check. And it's time for you to start exercising regularly ... because your legs are buckling and your belt isn't!

A Complex Carb.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Bad for you but to die for

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

All Natural Nothing

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

Well, you'd better learn to like them!

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"