Nutrient Ninja Gifts

'I think we found the spot where you spilled the fertilizer.'

'Ooo, I just felt the good cholesterol kick the bad cholesterol.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

Batman's Baby

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I'm so good at this!"

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Dieting Motivation.

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"