Nourishment Nerd Gifts

"I saw a dog food commercial that asked, 'Do you feed your dog like feed your family?", and it got me thinking. . ."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Dieting Motivation.

'Diet considerations.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

Heart Disease Menu

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.