Nutrition Nerds Gifts

"This new grocery store is divided into two sections: organic and things I can afford."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

"Then it struck me - nobody originally on the Paleo Diet lived past 35."

"That child of ours has a ferocious appetite."

"Twice a week I eat nothing but fruit."

'I could have had a V-8!'

Church of the Low-Carbs

Socrates, 399 B.C: 'Wow, I could have had a V-8.'

'Don't rush me. I'm adding up the calories!'

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Gullib-Os

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."