Nutrition News Nerd Gifts

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Diet considerations.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'I believe we got your blood pressure back up to normal.'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Heart Disease Menu

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.