Nutrition Newbie Gifts

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

Slimming Club 'Gone for no Lunch'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

All Natural Nothing

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Diet considerations.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."