Nutrition Newbie Gifts

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

Having a varied diet doesn't just mean all 12 varieties of 'kwiknoodles'.

Slimming Club 'Gone for no Lunch'

"I've tried 5 diets and haven't lost a pound. Maybe I shouldn't try them all at the same time."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

All Natural Nothing

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Diet considerations.'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."