Nutrition Novices Gifts

'Glue will wreak havoc on your arteries.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'Don't you know that less packaging creates more waist?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

The Inexperienced Cook

'Diet considerations.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Heart Disease Menu

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."