Nutrition Joke Lover Pillows

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"The doctor said it wouldn't hurt to fudge a little on my diet."

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

You are what you eat

'Are you sure sitting on a bean bag chair isn't considered getting a daily requirement of vegetables?'

'I'm not really hungry but I keep eating tons of fish because I need the Omega 3 fish oil to help lower my triglycerides.'

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"Easy on the carbs, Carl."

'I've got rotten teeth and you need glasses, ironic does not even cover it!'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"Hold on! A new study says those are actually bad for you."

'It hurts when I cackle!'

'You're problem is you don't think big enough.'

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

Excess Baggage: If calories consumed on vacation don't count, then little creatures must sneak into your room at night to shrink your clothes.

"In my expert medical opinion, you are suffering from hypochondria."

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

Health food and junk food

'Of course on this new diet, I only count the calories of the food I eat whilst other people are in the room.'

Nightmares donuts have.

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

"Would a test have told us if my goldfish had coronavirus?"

An Expert's Guide to What's Good and What's Bad to Eat and Drink.

Dramatic readings of food labels.