Nurturing Navigator Gifts

Parenting academy: "Right, that covers nutritional theory in the socio-economic context of class structure in a eurocentric and essentially homophobic culture...now if one of you would like to take a tit out we'll do the practical..."

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

'Modern women: part nurturer, part healer, part seeker of clues.'

Bad for you but to die for

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

A Preschool of Fish

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'I'm just using this while my monster truck is in the shop.'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'How many fingers do you see?'

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

Babies

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'Turn everything off...we've sprung a leak!'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

Shrink

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

"You mentioned separation anxiety. Don't worry, she'll be all right."

"I think this end is loaded."

'I know we're not 'almost there,' but I keep asking just to keep her focused.'

"Eating junk food may make you feel young at heart, but it isn't making your heart feel young."

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

'No offence. The other breast and I seemed to click.'

'Sleeping like a baby'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"I wouldn't worry, at his age grunting to communicate is quite normal."