Nursery Whiz Gifts

I'm beat! Was work too hard for you? I didn't notice you helping dig, haul, plant or water dad's nursery. Boo hoo! He paid you, didn't he? Yeah. But I'm too tired to spend it! Now I can help.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

A child stands behind a stand piled high with snowballs and a sign that reads "Hand-crafted snowballs 25¢".

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Coping with a strong-willed child

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

Mother Goose Timeshare

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."