Nursery Rhyme Nerd Gifts

"Oh my god! I'm not wearing clean underwear."

'If little girls are made of sugar and spire and everything nice, where does genetics fit into the picture?'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

And while all my horses and men were busy with this broken egg, the peasants overthrew me!

'My client denies taking any performance-enhancing drugs when she jumped over the moon.'

"We seem to have lost Bo Peep for the moment, we'll try and get her back, meanwhile..."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

The Hey Diddle Diddle Orchestra

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"Well, that one got away."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'She barely made it out of the atmosphere... next!'

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

Humpty Dumpty goes bungee jumping.

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Rockabye Baby- $10/hour.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'And you're telling me this, why?'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

If you're happy and you know it...