Numerical Jokester Pillows

Non-ageist Head-stone

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

"Ah - The 'Big Gang' theory."

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

International Conference on Genetically Modified Crop Development.

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."