Math Jokester Pillows

Mathematician Food Fights.

'I can't do it, Miss Ralston - Looks like I'm going to end up teaching, huh?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

'What are you talking about? ? how can you have half a quantum theory?'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

The geometry of everyday life

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

"Ah - The 'Big Gang' theory."

'Reallly Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

International Conference on Genetically Modified Crop Development.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.