Numbers Wrangler T-Shirts

'This is the third year in a row I'm being audited. Might this have something to do with the fact that I'm your ex-husband?'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Binge Watch

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

Dave invents the remote belt

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

"I just audited our books. Your register came up five cents short, Rudy."

Boss: '...Let's not forget who our customers are!' (It turns out they just have one left).

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

'You're a funny beggar, switching off the sound just because Joanna Lumley is ENTHUSING!'

"There's the remote!"

'The sole purpose of this remote is to locate all the other remotes you have lost!'

'Try putting a remote in one hand aan a beer in the other and see if he starts up.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"I'm just saying, if you had to turn off the TV, would you still remember how?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Burke isn't in right now. He ate some funky yogurt he found in the back of the fridge and he's in the bathroom - how shall I put this - promoting from within."

"Check and see if the remote's in there."

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

'I don't know where the television remote is, you had it last.'

'How do you do it? I keep coming up with six.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."