Numbers Game Changer Gifts

". . . and this, my young friends, is the Basell II ratings-based formula to calculate capital levels for retail credit."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Staff Yearbook

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

"...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?"

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Accountant Manqué

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"We have to make massive cuts so we can reduce debt... which will cut into growth which is needed so we can make massive cuts..."

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Pi fight!

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'