Number Whisperers Pillows

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

"'Numbers' are a nice invention, but what if they lead to economics?"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

"What are you in for?"

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

Having It All

"I mean, he does have a point."

Pandora's box.

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"All right. Time to grow up."

"But the legacy I'd truly like to leave is creating music that future generations will use to sedate overstimulated toddlers."

Right little madam.

"I understand you're famous for your tantrums."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

Alternative Accountants

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

"The government is confident it has its numbers right. . . we're just not sure what order to put them in."

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"The numbers don't lie, but we can fix that."

"He shows enormous potential."

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'