Call Whisperer Pillows

Thank you for holding...

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Computer help.

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'Interactive TV news.'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

Alternative Accountants

"The government is confident it has its numbers right. . . we're just not sure what order to put them in."

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"The numbers don't lie, but we can fix that."

Sad looking computer with plasters and a black eye

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'If I need emergency assistance with this program, do I type 911?'

"How's the computer analysis going?"

What the numbers are telling us

I don't think we need to resort to medication to help your insomnia...An hour with my accountant should do the trick...Accountancy doesn't NEED to be DULL!

'Good morning, This is receptionist Susan, portal to the boss.'

Right brain accounting.

'How much is six times seven? -- Who am I to say?'