Number Nut Gifts

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"Those 'reverse mortgage' commercials got me to thinking - Is there such a thing as reverse taxes?"

"One, one deduction! Two, two deductions! Three, three deductions! Four deductions ah ah ah!!!!!!"

Colin didn't really need a pocket-calculator...he already knew how many pockets he had!

"It's for weird minds - they're not wired like mine...oh! I'm a poet and didn't know it!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

Bubble gum leaves

Botany Baby!

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

Gloat

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

One way only.

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

"Mine's bigger than yours."