Communication Nut Gifts

Jungle Communication

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

Twitter censorship

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

One way only.

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'How fast can you hype?'

Antler Buzzers.

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."