Nuisance Call Avoiders Pillows

Vending machine says: 'No telemarketers will call' 50c.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

The stock market sky is falling.

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

Things You Should Know About...

"We were wondering if now would be a good time to panic."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

Hiding From Social Media

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"What abouts...the ones who are allergic to all these service animals?"

"I only wish this was the final notice."

'Hank, I think I see why your dog is complaining about the ringing in his ears.'

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'

'I want to see a doctor who understands that I don't want to see him.'

"I'm never visiting earth again! Ever since we got back I've been getting nothing but robocalls and spam."

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

"How many times do I have to tell, you, don't call me at work!"

"No point going to sleep now."

Other Walks of Shame

Right now, he's in his man cave.'

'Who is this? Could you please stop cold calling me?'

'Oh, Hi, Fred!...I was just thinking about you'

"I'd like to be assigned the accounting that doesn't involve numbers."

Now here's a place I like