Nuisance Fighter Pillows

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Vaccine

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Flu Vaccine.

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"This feels so familiar."

Pick one: ounce of prevention or pound of cure.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'Can't come in to work today. I'm in bed with a nasty bug.'

Trick or Treatment.

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"Here comes someone now. If we're lucky they haven't had their fly shot, or won't wash their hands!"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

Employers: Workers, toil until death!

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

'You don't want to eat me. I have Bird Flu.'

Air catarrh.

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

"I'll have the chicken Tamiflu."

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"You have a common cold. Here's a prescription for chicken soup from the deli next door."

"Yes, I know what's going on in the world. That's still no excuse for my Internet being down all day."

Self Checkout

"It's just that sometimes, I feel like I'm on a sinking ship!"

'Bless You.'

'A flu shot? I won't need that I have diplomatic immunity!'

"Keep your guard up against 'flu."

"Honey, we need to get vaccinated! The flu forecaster says another storm is coming!"

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

'My elbow has a cold!'