Novelty Whip Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

It's great for pulling the birds!

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Curtsey

'Now what?!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

The Old Curiosity Shop

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

Cowboy Trump

Drinking Hats

Ted picks the wrong day to wear his novelty tie.

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"Oh my Gosh...I nearly sheeped my pants."

'Turkey dot com.'

'You are here' T-shirt,

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

Piano-Tuning Bar

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

Toilet Paper

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

'I'll be honest it has a few flaws...'

Surprise

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT