Novelty Drink Enthusiast T-Shirts

"It's a coffee for when you'd rather be drinking tea."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

You're the botanicals in my gin

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'The King of what?'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Baloneystini

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

Whiskey wars

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Rabbit Punch

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

Roller Coasters

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'