Novelty Whip Enthusiast Pillows

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

It's great for pulling the birds!

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Curtsey

'Now what?!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

The Old Curiosity Shop

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Ted picks the wrong day to wear his novelty tie.

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

Cowboy Trump

Drinking Hats

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

'Turkey dot com.'

'Yes dear, matching novelty t-shirts.'

"Oh my Gosh...I nearly sheeped my pants."

'Arthur loves his new job with the fairground - gets a company car as well.'

'You are here' T-shirt,

Piano-Tuning Bar

'Could I borrow your giant scissors for a minute? I cancelled payment on this giant check and I need to cut it up.'

'It's new, Dental armor, Everything I need for any procedure is right here,'

A license plate that reads LIC-PLT

Once the other reindeer had LED noses fitted, they went back to making fun of poor Rudolph again.

'I'll be honest it has a few flaws...'

'Whipped cream?'