Novelty Song Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm sorry I ever said that was cute."

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

"Call me!"

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

'Now what?!'

Art Garfunkel.

Tenors

Blind mammal Johnson....part animal, all blues man!

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

Pirate King

A singer being criticised

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Bumper Limos

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

Casual skydiving.

The Old Curiosity Shop

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

Driver test: Clown's big feet create challenge

"Music has doubled my income..."

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

'Uh-oh, here comes the mike again. Cut the barbershop quartet and go back to mournful whistling.'

If-you're-happy-and-you-know-it hour.

Well, it's not my fault if nobody bothered to tune the microphone.'

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"I'm open to new things."