Novelty Skill Collector T-Shirts

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Clown on bike.

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

Fossil record player.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

The Hammer

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

'I've found a spade I like Julia...'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Lavatory Waterfall

"Roadkill cookies"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Two stressed drinking birds

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"'Can correctly complete a CAPTCHA image 8 our of 10 times.' Any other skills?"

Newest items from the cooler image

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Mom, dad. I'm LED."