Skill Collector T-Shirts

'What is wrong with you, Covington? Larson's sales territory is twice the size of yours, and yet she managed to find the time to learn how to palm a basketball!'

'You bring an impressive array of bundled services to the table.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

The only way to see the world is to see the world

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Heading off with a packed bag

Thank you bubbles

Cat Show

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

Philosopher trading cards.

The Card Flinger

'I'm a do-it-yourselfer, but I've never been a done-it-yourselfer...'

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Put your tools away. We can't afford to pay any more tradesmen to fix another of your botched DIY projects.'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Stealing thoughts.