Novelty Rule Collector T-Shirts

Sign on mensroom door: 'No writing instruments allowed'

Clown on bike.

"Recalculating route..."

Hay Rides $10

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Lavatory Waterfall

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Roadkill cookies"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'These new metal detectors are great!'

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Two stressed drinking birds

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

The origin of the Hula Hoop.

Monkey Business

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

Med School Mascots.

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."