Novelty Hiker Gifts

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Dog Walking Services

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Raincloud Umbrella

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Hay Rides $10

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Putting Practice.

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Toenail clipping missile.