Modern Hiker Gifts

Danger. No phone signal beyond this point

Sport Utility Boot.

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

Hiking sign - Stop, pause, play, skip forward, skip back

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Hello there, how y'doin'?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"I love the things I say when I’m in nature."

'There's nothing like roughing it in the woods to make a man feel alive!'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"Daisy, that fall broke my leg pretty badly. You need to go get help, girl - oh, what a big stretch! Who’s a good stretcher? Daisy’s a good stretcher! What a good girl…"

"It's the adorable snowman!"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Just lemme finish my coffee."

"Hungry? I'm ravenous, Norman, I could murder a lentil cutlet."

Bear Signpost.

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

Large bird chases bird watcher up a hill.

'I need it for my electric blanket.'

"You've got a friend in me."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"Stop whimpering. Most dogs would kill for a walk like this."

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

"Write your acceptance speech before winning the award."

Bear Recycling.

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

"I told you it was a universal truth."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'Too proud to wear glasses, Bob gets what's coming to him.'

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

Wild, Wacky, Wild and Wacky