Novelty Games Pillows

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Cannonball!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Raincloud Umbrella

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

Advocado

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Hay Rides $10

Useless add-ons.

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Mohammad's motors

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.