Novelty Games Pillows

Crane Game. Ball Game.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Cannonball!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Raincloud Umbrella

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

Useless add-ons.

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

Hay Rides $10

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Peel poker.

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Mohammad's motors

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."