Novelty Dater Gifts

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Dog Walking Services

'Cannonball!'

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

Hay Rides $10

Sexual chemistry set

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

"Call me!"

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

Ball Pool Peril

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

'Let's do lunch.'

Single men in Tahiti

Bumper Limos

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Relax, just watch out for his left hook."

Casual skydiving.

Driver test: Clown's big feet create challenge

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"Run, it's a light-sabre tooth tiger."

Martian restaurant and take away