Novelty Dater Gifts

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Dog Walking Services

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'Cannonball!'

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

Hay Rides $10

Sexual chemistry set

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

"Call me!"

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

The Wedding of Sally and Joe, as captured on film by the world's first for-profit Satellite-Photography Service, from 23,300 feet

Ball Pool Peril

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

Suggestion and 'outside-the-box' suggestions.

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"It's my resignation in the form of a graphic novel."

Single men in Tahiti

'Let's do lunch.'

Thank you for calling ace novelty..and remember, think outside the box!

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

Bumper Limos

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Relax, just watch out for his left hook."

Casual skydiving.

Driver test: Clown's big feet create challenge

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"Run, it's a light-sabre tooth tiger."

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."