Novelty Caner Gifts

Man with twisted legs using a twisted walking stick.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Dog Walking Services

'Cannonball!'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Raincloud Umbrella

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'What clan do you belong to?'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Hay Rides $10

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Putting Practice.

Peel poker.

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

Mohammad's motors

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.