Novelty Book Collectors T-Shirts

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Clown on bike.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

Hay Rides $10

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

"Recalculating route..."

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

Divine Desk Bins

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Fossil record player.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'A is for Arse.'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Lavatory Waterfall

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

Redlaw and the Phantom

"Roadkill cookies"

"I have an app for that."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'This thing better hold. I don't know about you, but I don't find plan B very reassuring.'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"