Novel Collectors T-Shirts

Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Clown on bike.

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Recalculating route..."

Hay Rides $10

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

Unemotional Support Animal

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

At Ireland's oldst and most respected school of dance, Mrs O'Hara made a terrible discovery... (Book entitled 'The book of Irish dancing vol. 2 - How to incorporate the arms')

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

Kanya West Inspired Children Books.

Fossil record player.

Divine Desk Bins

'A is for Arse.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Lavatory Waterfall