Novelizer Gifts

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Victor Hugo

The DaVinci Code

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Honoré de Balzac

Jean-Paul Sartre

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Evolution.

Empty box of ideas

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

John Bunyan

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Eureka!

'What clan do you belong to?'