Novelty Reader Gifts

Lorem Ipsum

Best sellers/Worst Sellers.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Raincloud Umbrella

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Useless add-ons.

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Mohammad's motors

It's great for pulling the birds!

Bathroom Fairy

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Toenail clipping missile.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"