Novelty Reader Gifts

Lorem Ipsum

Best sellers/Worst Sellers.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Raincloud Umbrella

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Useless add-ons.

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Bathroom Fairy

Mohammad's motors

It's great for pulling the birds!

'The New... New, Swiss Army Knife.'

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

"Call me!"

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.