Novel Reader Gifts

Mad Hatter's tea party.

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Boss, I have a question to ask you, but I'm pretty sure I already know what your answer is going to be. Ask away, minion. Can I have a day off each week to catch up on all the "Star Wars" novels and comic books that tie into the upcoming movie? Of course, Rudy. Who am I to stand in the way of your education in the proper role of a boss and his employee? Wait ... Are you talking about the Emperor and Darth Vader? Excellent training manual, if you ignore the lame social justice warrior parts.

The 1 Minute Scape Goat.

"How come we never collide with the burning heat of a thousand fires?"

The girl with the Edinburgh tattoo.

'I wish you didn't have to bring your work home with you.'

"The butler did it!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Layer cake

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

Günter Grass

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

Spam in Hell.

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Fish or Cut Bait

Love Birds love dancing together

'Choose, Fenster

"Which one's yours?"

"So, what are you reading?"

Fully aware of the dangerous romance of Venice's canals and bridges, Gwendolyn approached this moment with a degree of caution.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"Way too much tongue!"