Nouvelle Cuisine Enthusiast Pillows

"It's nouvelle cuisine sir, so you'll need a magnifying glass..."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Regular service or affected?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Cooking with Pierre

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"Gigot de sept heures."

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

Fast Nouvelle Cuisine.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

Roadkill Restaurant

'The escargots are underdone.'

Inappropriate garnish.

French man holding a dish.

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

"So nice to see things 'a la financiere' again."

"No thanks. I had a cracker in April."

"Do you want the rest of this mouse? It tastes gamey to me."

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.